the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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