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Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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