man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
