we have pet lesbian snakes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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