whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
