I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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