just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
