you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
