What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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