Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize