I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
