I love black thongs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
