i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
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He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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