I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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