you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
