hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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