just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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