I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
