then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
