and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
