It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
