i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
