Plan B is the new Plan A
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
