Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
