My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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