I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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