yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
