to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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