My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
