It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
