I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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