I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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