I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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