i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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