i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
North Korea, Best Korea!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
