Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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