i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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