you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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