normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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