i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
