Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
