I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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