That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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