I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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