3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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