I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
