hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize