My entire life is one complicated drinking game
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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