I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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