Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
