he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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