how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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