he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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