mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
