So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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