as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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