Me too!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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