I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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