the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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