hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
