I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
