Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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